blog
An Unspectacular Life, Part 8
04/08/09
I wasn't ready for Kevin's quick departure, literally. I had spent all of my
prep time on him before we left for the club. All of my accessories were in a
plastic shopping bag in the back seat. It had been weeks since I had been out
and everyone was going to be at Whispers tonight. I had to make an
impression. Even though Drew and John had moved to a bigger city and were no
doubt exposed to more creative energy, I was determined to still be the most
fashion forward.
In our last drop box raid, I found an extra large white lab coat that I knew
had to be worn out. It didn't have any buttons left so I kept it fastened
with three large glittery brooches; one silver, one emerald green and one
blue. I pinned the brooches through the coat and the black t-shirt under it
so that the over-sized coat would not droop forward. The addition of the
jewellery to the coat made it more Boy George than Thomas Dolby. I wore the
coat over black tuxedo pants cut off between the ankle and knee which I
hemmed with staples and of course, I had on my signature sweater
sleeves-come-leggings and black high top converse sneakers. I rolled up the
sleeves of the coat and wore as many bracelets, bangles and old watches as my
wrists could take. I kept my neck bare. I had experimented with strands of
plastic pearls and crucifixes but they kept getting tangled in the brooches.
It took me fifteen minutes to accessorize, powder my face, apply some eye
shadow (I liked using blush as eye shadow) and give my hair one last spray of
Final Net.
When I finally caught up with Kevin inside of Whisper's, he had found Drew,
John, Susan and Brandon and was already on his second Brown Cow. Everyone
loved my style statement though, I did get a Thomas Dolby quip from Drew.
Kevin's outfit was not such a big hit. Punk cowboy Kevin in public was very
different from punk cowboy Kevin in my bedroom. He lacked the confidence and
attitude to pull the look off off. Clothes and accessories were really only
half of the eighties style equation. The other half was the balls to own what
you were wearing and the thick skin to deflect verbal abuse if your ensemble
elicited it. I learned this hanging out at the mall. Kevin was half cut and
almost totally defeated. If I was going to save the night and Kevin's future
as a well adjusted gay man, I had to work quickly and I would as soon as I
danced to, "So Many Men. So Little Time". It was my new favourite song and I
had just bought the extended dance mix and wanted to dance to the song in a
club and not just in front of my full length mirror. I asked Susan to keep an
eye on Kevin and danced my way to the middle of the dance floor where Drew,
Brandon and John had staked a spot.
It was almost impossible to pull myself off of the dance floor but while I
was dancing I figured out what had to be done. I made my way back through the
sweaty mob now whipped into a frenzy by the DJ's decision to follow, "So Many
Men" with The Weather Girl's, "It's Raining Men", grabbed Kevin's arm and led
him out to his car. He was in a kind of drunken shock. I took his Stetson off
and apologized for trying to turn him into something that he wasn't. I told
him that he would remember this night for the rest of his life and that I had
fucked it up but no so much that it couldn't be saved. I started to see some
recognition in his eyes. I asked him to start the car up as I rifled through
his cassettes. I popped a Kenny Rogers into the player and turned the volume
up. Immediately, Kevin started to come back to life. I began taking all of
the safety pins out of his jeans while he got rid of the tie and vest. He had
an old faded Levi jean jacket in the backseat. Not five minutes after we got
into the car, the Kevin that I knew was back and singing along to, "Lucille".
I let him finish the song before we went back into Whispers.
Drew, Brandon and John were still on the dance floor and Susan had made her
way back to the lesbian corner. I sat with Kevin at the bar and ordered a
Singapore Sling for me and another Brown Cow for Kevin. I asked Kevin who he
thought was cute. All of his choices were bears. Big hairy men that I had
never really noticed before. They were always there, of course, but for me
they were like movie extras or filler. I sat there thinking that it was odd
that I hadn't known what type of man that Kevin was attracted to. We had been
friends for months but he almost never spoke about sex. I suppose it was
because he was attempting to repair a shattered life and sex wasn't high on
his priority list. I remembered laughing when he had told me that he thought
that Tom Selleck was sexy but other than that reference, I really had no idea
that he liked his men big and hairy. I wanted to get back on the dance floor
but before I left Kevin alone at the bar, I gave him a quick cruising lesson.
I told him that if he makes eye contact with someone that he likes, to not
look away quickly. A stare must be maintained for about two seconds before
slowly turning your head and pretending to look somewhere else but never
down. Never smile on the first glance, save it for the second eye lock and
keep the smile minimal. If there is a third visual pass by, smile a little
bigger and make a move by either walking over to him or motioning him over to
you. I hopped off my barstool and resumed my place on the dance floor leaving
a drunk but happy Kevin at the bar eager to put his cruising lesson into
practice.
While I was at the bar, the vibe of the club had transitioned from gay high
energy to new wave. A lot of the clones had left the dance floor giving us
upstarts much more room to express ourselves. Dancing to the post disco divas
was very different from dancing to the music of the new British bands. New
wave music required more space for expression. When Depeche Mode came over
the speakers singing, "The grabbing hands grab all they can." we felt the
words and in an Isadora Duncan way, acted them out. We grabbed all we could,
from the charged air around us.
Through my swaying bang, I kept an eye on Kevin at the bar. I tried to get
him on the dance floor but he was content where he was. I completely lost
myself while dancing with eyes closed to an extended remix of Blancmange's,
"Living on the Ceiling" and when I opened my eyes to check on Kevin, he was
gone. I thought that he may have just gone to the bathroom so I continued
dancing but he never returned to his bar stool. I had to find him. I went to
the lesbian corner and asked Susan if she had seen him. She hadn't. Drew,
John and Brandon were sitting at a table on the edge of the dance floor. They
hadn't seen him either. He did have a lot to drink so I checked the washroom
thinking that he might be doubled over a toilet. He wasn't. Maybe he had to
go out for some air. I stuck my head out the door. I could see his car in the
parking lot but no Kevin. I went back to the bar half expecting to find him
perched on his stool but he wasn't. I was starting to get concerned. I asked
the bartender if he knew what had happened to Kevin. He told me that someone
had sent him a drink then they left together. Kevin had been picked up! His
half full Brown Cow was still on the bar.
I went and sat down with Drew. Brandon and John were dancing. I told him that
Kevin, my ride home, had gotten lucky. Drew said that I could stay at his
apartment. Accommodation was not the problem. I had to work the next morning.
I didn't usually work days but I switched shifts with Laurie to get the night
off. I'd have to stay at Whispers until it closed at four then spend a couple
of hours at a doughnut shop waiting for the bus station to open and the seven
o'clock Greyhound. I'd get back at eight thirty with a half hour to make it
to the restaurant. Tomorrow was going to be hell but I'd think about that
later. Soft Cell was calling me to the dance floor.
04/08/09
I wasn't ready for Kevin's quick departure, literally. I had spent all of my
prep time on him before we left for the club. All of my accessories were in a
plastic shopping bag in the back seat. It had been weeks since I had been out
and everyone was going to be at Whispers tonight. I had to make an
impression. Even though Drew and John had moved to a bigger city and were no
doubt exposed to more creative energy, I was determined to still be the most
fashion forward.
In our last drop box raid, I found an extra large white lab coat that I knew
had to be worn out. It didn't have any buttons left so I kept it fastened
with three large glittery brooches; one silver, one emerald green and one
blue. I pinned the brooches through the coat and the black t-shirt under it
so that the over-sized coat would not droop forward. The addition of the
jewellery to the coat made it more Boy George than Thomas Dolby. I wore the
coat over black tuxedo pants cut off between the ankle and knee which I
hemmed with staples and of course, I had on my signature sweater
sleeves-come-leggings and black high top converse sneakers. I rolled up the
sleeves of the coat and wore as many bracelets, bangles and old watches as my
wrists could take. I kept my neck bare. I had experimented with strands of
plastic pearls and crucifixes but they kept getting tangled in the brooches.
It took me fifteen minutes to accessorize, powder my face, apply some eye
shadow (I liked using blush as eye shadow) and give my hair one last spray of
Final Net.
When I finally caught up with Kevin inside of Whisper's, he had found Drew,
John, Susan and Brandon and was already on his second Brown Cow. Everyone
loved my style statement though, I did get a Thomas Dolby quip from Drew.
Kevin's outfit was not such a big hit. Punk cowboy Kevin in public was very
different from punk cowboy Kevin in my bedroom. He lacked the confidence and
attitude to pull the look off off. Clothes and accessories were really only
half of the eighties style equation. The other half was the balls to own what
you were wearing and the thick skin to deflect verbal abuse if your ensemble
elicited it. I learned this hanging out at the mall. Kevin was half cut and
almost totally defeated. If I was going to save the night and Kevin's future
as a well adjusted gay man, I had to work quickly and I would as soon as I
danced to, "So Many Men. So Little Time". It was my new favourite song and I
had just bought the extended dance mix and wanted to dance to the song in a
club and not just in front of my full length mirror. I asked Susan to keep an
eye on Kevin and danced my way to the middle of the dance floor where Drew,
Brandon and John had staked a spot.
It was almost impossible to pull myself off of the dance floor but while I
was dancing I figured out what had to be done. I made my way back through the
sweaty mob now whipped into a frenzy by the DJ's decision to follow, "So Many
Men" with The Weather Girl's, "It's Raining Men", grabbed Kevin's arm and led
him out to his car. He was in a kind of drunken shock. I took his Stetson off
and apologized for trying to turn him into something that he wasn't. I told
him that he would remember this night for the rest of his life and that I had
fucked it up but no so much that it couldn't be saved. I started to see some
recognition in his eyes. I asked him to start the car up as I rifled through
his cassettes. I popped a Kenny Rogers into the player and turned the volume
up. Immediately, Kevin started to come back to life. I began taking all of
the safety pins out of his jeans while he got rid of the tie and vest. He had
an old faded Levi jean jacket in the backseat. Not five minutes after we got
into the car, the Kevin that I knew was back and singing along to, "Lucille".
I let him finish the song before we went back into Whispers.
Drew, Brandon and John were still on the dance floor and Susan had made her
way back to the lesbian corner. I sat with Kevin at the bar and ordered a
Singapore Sling for me and another Brown Cow for Kevin. I asked Kevin who he
thought was cute. All of his choices were bears. Big hairy men that I had
never really noticed before. They were always there, of course, but for me
they were like movie extras or filler. I sat there thinking that it was odd
that I hadn't known what type of man that Kevin was attracted to. We had been
friends for months but he almost never spoke about sex. I suppose it was
because he was attempting to repair a shattered life and sex wasn't high on
his priority list. I remembered laughing when he had told me that he thought
that Tom Selleck was sexy but other than that reference, I really had no idea
that he liked his men big and hairy. I wanted to get back on the dance floor
but before I left Kevin alone at the bar, I gave him a quick cruising lesson.
I told him that if he makes eye contact with someone that he likes, to not
look away quickly. A stare must be maintained for about two seconds before
slowly turning your head and pretending to look somewhere else but never
down. Never smile on the first glance, save it for the second eye lock and
keep the smile minimal. If there is a third visual pass by, smile a little
bigger and make a move by either walking over to him or motioning him over to
you. I hopped off my barstool and resumed my place on the dance floor leaving
a drunk but happy Kevin at the bar eager to put his cruising lesson into
practice.
While I was at the bar, the vibe of the club had transitioned from gay high
energy to new wave. A lot of the clones had left the dance floor giving us
upstarts much more room to express ourselves. Dancing to the post disco divas
was very different from dancing to the music of the new British bands. New
wave music required more space for expression. When Depeche Mode came over
the speakers singing, "The grabbing hands grab all they can." we felt the
words and in an Isadora Duncan way, acted them out. We grabbed all we could,
from the charged air around us.
Through my swaying bang, I kept an eye on Kevin at the bar. I tried to get
him on the dance floor but he was content where he was. I completely lost
myself while dancing with eyes closed to an extended remix of Blancmange's,
"Living on the Ceiling" and when I opened my eyes to check on Kevin, he was
gone. I thought that he may have just gone to the bathroom so I continued
dancing but he never returned to his bar stool. I had to find him. I went to
the lesbian corner and asked Susan if she had seen him. She hadn't. Drew,
John and Brandon were sitting at a table on the edge of the dance floor. They
hadn't seen him either. He did have a lot to drink so I checked the washroom
thinking that he might be doubled over a toilet. He wasn't. Maybe he had to
go out for some air. I stuck my head out the door. I could see his car in the
parking lot but no Kevin. I went back to the bar half expecting to find him
perched on his stool but he wasn't. I was starting to get concerned. I asked
the bartender if he knew what had happened to Kevin. He told me that someone
had sent him a drink then they left together. Kevin had been picked up! His
half full Brown Cow was still on the bar.
I went and sat down with Drew. Brandon and John were dancing. I told him that
Kevin, my ride home, had gotten lucky. Drew said that I could stay at his
apartment. Accommodation was not the problem. I had to work the next morning.
I didn't usually work days but I switched shifts with Laurie to get the night
off. I'd have to stay at Whispers until it closed at four then spend a couple
of hours at a doughnut shop waiting for the bus station to open and the seven
o'clock Greyhound. I'd get back at eight thirty with a half hour to make it
to the restaurant. Tomorrow was going to be hell but I'd think about that
later. Soft Cell was calling me to the dance floor.
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